PILLOW - WEPT
01.22.03 . 10:41 a.m.
..this morning i woke up. i turned the hot water on...then the cold water....felt the temperature with my fingers...and then turned the shower on.
i got undressed, took my hair down, and then stepped under the water.
it started off slow this morning...my mood. i felt slow. i felt a little run-down and still tired.
the drive to work was quiet, except for Cat Power on low.
now that im here at work, surrounded by strangers...i have my headphones on. as usual, im not working. im writing instead.
Mazzy Star 'Among My Swan' is turned completely up in my ears. i forget sometimes, just how much i am in love with this band...this album...their music. Hope Sandovals voice shakes me up every single time i hear it. though she lacks range at times, its so easy and soft and simple..and mostly..its the most beautiful voice i know.
this music has given off a sort of peaceful vibe...and its transferred to my brain and heart and is cooking steadily inside of me.
i now feel peaceful like the melodies and tunes.
(those rose-coloured glasses i let you borrow...i am taking them back)
i have the most incredible capability of blocking everything out that i dont want to bother myself with...like voices, and people, and faces, and noise, and work, and talking, and empty conversations.
at 8:34am this morning, it is nothing but me, and the sound of the music..and quite frankly, i wouldnt chose anything over this emotion right now.
i bring a bag with me to work every day..and it carries roughly 50-60 cds in it. every day i tote this to work, and back home. i love that music can sort of steal me away from the real world sometimes. because sometimes, theres nothing i need more than to be away from the "reality" of things. and most importantly, other people.
i dont need anything today but this feeling.
[music: you already had a million hearts to break]