beware of the streets around this time of the day.

its likely to remind you of two years before.

this time of day-the feeling i have-the way the air smells..it takes me far closer than i wish to be to the day of departure for the two of us.

im not sure why. different month. different moods. different clothes. shoes. hair. gloss. its all different.

still, i cant distract myself long enough to stop thinking about your body lying flat underneath me. i cant stop thinking about your hands against my back as we slept. i cant stop thinking about the way we stretched out before sunrise and watched the room fill with white noise as it approached. i cant stop thinking of the way you fell between my legs the night before. the way your lips fumbled when kissing mine.

two months time, i'll be a wreck. maybe not even that long. two weeks? three days? tomorrow?

i'll fall faster than expected (of this be certain)

this in-this out-this in-this out--its wearing my bones thin. making my head hurt. making my body reject what ive chewn.

i'll lay still and silent tonight-and i'll imagine sunlight and warm bodies. i wont think about what i need to regret.

x