06.19.03 . 6:10 a.m.
427: french boys & reunions

...my dreams are getting scarier & more strange by the evening.


last night, i dreamt i was in my old highschool, just fucking around. i was wearing a black skirt, black boots, and a white shirt.

i was walking along the halls, slowly, with a stride. model-esque style. the way people used to comment on and say "wow!" about. maybe that was only because i was young and felt the need to strut, who knows.

the halls were crowded with high school kids that looked about the age of 12 or so. they were small and tiny. most of the students had babies in their arms. they were nursing their child and saying "shhhshhhhhshhhh" as their child cried and screamed. most of the girls and most of the boys seemed to have babies. they were all children with children.

as i walked along the hall, i felt an overwhelming sadness sweep over me, and i began to cry. i ran into the bathroom so i could be alone, and there were more children with children.

black boys with glasses rocking their sons to sleep, white girls bouncing their daughters on their knees, mexican girls swaying back and forth trying to make their child fall peaceful.

i couldnt handle it.

the halls filled up. people were crowding out of classrooms, and i didnt feel so invisible anymore.

bells were ringing.

girls were making fun of my wedge boots because they were so young, and still had teenage-acne and i dont think really knew what fashion was.

i tried to mock them back..but knew it was a waste of time, so i just continued to walk instead.

more & more people were around me, and i was just trying to get out!

someone behind me was speaking quiuetly to themself in french behind me.

at first, i didnt pay attention. and then as i started to swing my arms & fists at the people and backs in front of me, someone turned around and punched me in the nose, and i started to bleed.

this guy kept speaking louder and louder in french, and picked me up.

he was gorgeous. had a thick amount of stubble, and a backpack.

i got loose, and ran out of the hallway into the basement of the school.


thats my dream. it was mostly in slow-motion even during the fast parts.

...i dont know what to make of it, really.


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