PILLOW - WEPT
08.18.04 . 8:55 a.m.
the air is cool this morning. its light, and its inviting.
i have to stop smoking marijuana at night. i wake with a groggy feeling that stays with me for hours.
there is a meeting today, here at the office. everyone has left for a show in baltimore, and so its only been three of us here all this week. but today, one of our biggest clients are coming in. we've got breakfast ready for them, unlimited coffee, and i have a smile and a skirt.
my hair is still a mess, though.
it is weird, writing like this again. sleepystorm has been so calm for me, so much what i really feel...i think this place was created for my bitching. and my bitching alone.
i was reading through old entries yesterday, i read through the first 250. i would say 95% is me complaining about my former job.
i guess it was a really, really splendid thing i got out when i did.
i have no regrets.
that last day, i just left my badge on my keyboard, hugged those people i "knew", and took something off of the wall that belonged to me, and walked out.
i felt like one of those characters in a movie, whos walking away calmly from an exploding building.
it felt exactly like that.
i just smiled.
the next morning, the 10th, a saturday, nicole & i drove to new york for two weeks. we stopped in nashville, and somewhere outside of baltimore, and then straight into new york. then we went to visit a friend in boston. where it was -6 degrees. negative six. my car got towed, and i had no money, and cigarettes were 7.50 a pack, and i felt drunk the entire time. but all in all, i guess it gave me experiences i wouldnt have had anywhere else.
it was weird experiencing new york again, with a close friend. we ice skated in central park, and one night coming back from a bar, nicole slipped on the ice, and fell on her face. we were too drunk to really notice. another night, after leaving sin-e, she had drank so much red wine, that when we got back to my friends house, she puked, and was crying because she believed it was blood. which it wasnt.
i had to hold her hair. im that kind of friend. im that kind of calming person who ensures someone, the red liquid coming out of their body, is indeed not blood, but just the excessive amount of alcohol she had consumed.
all along, i wanted to cry in the chair.
there are stories i am leaving out. there are experiences that changed my life forever. and i am not saying this in a dramatic way. i am saying this with all seriousness.
but it is too quiet inside of me, so i really dont want to disturb it.
those memories are finally resting...
it is wednesday.
i like writing about the mundane.