09.15.04 . 11:07 a.m.
hal, the musician

so, i work in the "entertainment" industry. no, i am not a stripper. i answer phones. but, i work at a place that deals with assholes like dr. phil & what not, and jerry seinfield, and sheryl crow, and that king of queens comedian guy whos fucking hilarious. anyhoo, so we use muscians, and whoever else, to help with events that we get hired to put on, for whatever company whos promoting whatever theyre promoting.

since im the receptionist, i sit in the front lobby, and im the first and only person anyone sees, who comes in. there is a sign with our company name & logo behind me, a big steel and blue sign. its fancy. on it, it says "messaging architects" and below it, it says "a Gaylord Entertainment Company" .. anyways .. this cheesy, way-too-tan guy comes in yesterday, and he was looking around, so i knew he didnt know who we were, or what we were about. i knew instantly, that he was looking for a job, probably.

he introduces himself, asks what we do, then notices the sign behind me, and says "oh you guys are architects, i guess you wouldnt need my help" .... i didnt say "no" because i just wanted him to leave. he then sees the "entertainment" part, and asks what we do .. so i have to explain it to him, then he says "im so&so, and i was in a semi-famous band from Palm Beach, and im looking for a job. i had an interview at the movie studios (theres a movie studio across from where i work) and i thought id stop by" ... so i say, "ok, leave your info, and ill give it to the person in charge of that. hes out of the office today."

ok, now i hate being the person to say "basically, no. we hire real musicians" because that is rude, and i know everyone really deserves a chance, but its not up to me, right? so i have to be the person to basically lead these people on, fill them with hope, and then avoid their questions when they call.

so he leaves his resume, and two cds. now let me just tell you about the cds he left. the first one, is a homemade cover that he cut and pasted in this little jewel case, and it has a picture of him, and some woman in a leapord print dress holding a saxaphone. so, yeah. you can imagine.

he then asks if we have a bathroom he can use, and i just know that he is probably back there walking around shaking hands with people or something. so he goes back there .. and hes there for a few minutes, and comes back out, and says "since you know people here, let me ask you...theres a dry erase board in the bathroom, so i just put our bands website on it...do you think that might piss people off". i say "no."

im sure itll be a laugh, but wont piss people off. he then leaves.

well, right after he left, my boss comes out, and i told him what was going on, and hes like, yeah, just get their info.. and he laughs, and leaves for lunch.

so now, today, this man calls, and hes like "is this tiffanie!" im like yeah? hes like, its the guy who was in there yesterday ... is ______ there? i say hes in conference call, to call back. he then says "i have another interview in that same location tomorrow, so i might just swing by and talk with him."

! so that definitely takes away from me being able to give this guy the brush off until he takes the hint, so now ill just have to tell him.

at first, i felt bad when i would have to do these things, and i still do...but it kind of feels empowering to be able to tell people exactly the truth, and just be like "hey, sorry ... they arent looking for any musicians right now. good luck". because im a capricorn, and i like to be in control.

im a dick, huh?


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