im just disctracting myself with music right now. i still have that "lonely" feeling...even after all these hours, i feel empty.

i have piles of paper on my desk that need to be worked on, but they wont get finished by days end. i can already tell. im moving in

s

l

o

w

motion this afternoon. slower than usual.

i need a hot bath. a warm bed. a warm body. toes touching mine. legs wrapped around mine. head pressed to my forehead. i need lips kissing my face. my mouth. my fingers. my belly.

i need it all.

and i need it now.

love is starting to mean less and less to me right now.

i guess im in doubt of all things pure.

i feel let down and betrayed by things that i cant even identify.

you have all escaped me.

nothing is even real anymore.

nothing ever really was.

x