sunday night i took a black permanent marker & drew a heart on the skin that hides my ribs. the water from bathing has yet to remove it.

it somehow makes my body feel solid. i know theres something to feel. i know theres something to give.

my body is fucked from the exhaustian due to lack of sleep, and my stomach hurts from the emptiness. and i blame you when really, i should blame myself.

i shouldnt give you that much credit.

if i knew it was me who made someone lose their appreciation of an evening sky, i would be devistated. (i feel you would not)

if i knew it was me who made someone forget about sunsets and wine, i wouldnt want to breathe.

all of the things i once found beautiful mean very little to me these days.

and for what?

all for you?

i should be so much bigger than that. than all of that!

than all of this and all of you!

and i cant seem to tear myself away from the feeling of seperation or the feeling of losing a battle i never even began to fight in the first place.

so fuck you.

your coldness could freeze the south in a matter of seconds. & me? i happen to love the heat.

x