PILLOW - WEPT
03.12.03 . 12:24 p.m.
sunday night i took a black permanent marker & drew a heart on the skin that hides my ribs. the water from bathing has yet to remove it.
it somehow makes my body feel solid. i know theres something to feel. i know theres something to give.
my body is fucked from the exhaustian due to lack of sleep, and my stomach hurts from the emptiness. and i blame you when really, i should blame myself.
i shouldnt give you that much credit.
if i knew it was me who made someone lose their appreciation of an evening sky, i would be devistated. (i feel you would not)
if i knew it was me who made someone forget about sunsets and wine, i wouldnt want to breathe.
all of the things i once found beautiful mean very little to me these days.
and for what?
all for you?
i should be so much bigger than that. than all of that!
than all of this and all of you!
and i cant seem to tear myself away from the feeling of seperation or the feeling of losing a battle i never even began to fight in the first place.
so fuck you.
your coldness could freeze the south in a matter of seconds. & me? i happen to love the heat.