PILLOW - WEPT
03.30.03 . 11:14 a.m.
the ghosts inside of the lights were struggling to fight the day
tiny particles of dust shook around the glass that covered the bulb
there was nothing left to save.
dawn was approaching
children were waking
mothers were nursing
fathers still slept
i tried to keep what was left of my dream
when i saw the sunlight leak thru bedroom curtains, i moved my head to the right
facing opposite the wall, and towards the door.
my legs remained outstretched and straight
i wasnt going to give in.
not like this.
if i were to wake up, it would be on my own terms.
for i am not ready to start the day!
the sky can be cruel.
with all of her sisters and brothers.
i didnt expect it to pay me any favors
for i curse the sky when it rains on my vacation days
and i blame the sun for my headaches
and i curse the moon when i have to crawl to bed at 2am.
yes, i dont expect it to show me any kindness this Sunday morning
when i wish to remain sleeping.
when i was a little girl, i used to think
that the sun never came up if i wasnt awake
as if everything before my eyes opened
i never wanted to miss a thing.
if a leaf fell to the earth from a branch,
it didnt happen unless i was awake, and i could witness it
and when i turned my back, things ceased.
i had no excuse for Autumn.